The Dead Thread

[Etherion]

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Have a sense of humor (morbid/satyrical preferred);
Not be in grieving for recently deceased Relatives/persons/pets;
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One day everyone of us is going to die, whether you like it or not.

Sometimes (when one is still alive) one must contemplate death and make preparations for the afterlife, or if chance is cruel the last words you say are \"Oh bugger...\"

While randomly surfing through the internet I found that after death ones ashes (if you decide to be cremated) can be turned into a sparkling diamond. This raised some interesting ideas like \"This sounds nice, I wanna be a Rolex\". Or \"what will they think of next?\" and \" Darn! I\'ll be worth more dead than alive!\"

I can imagine how my rotten children, if I ever decide to have any, will bring me to the pawnshop the next day and trade me in for a new plasma-tv. Grrr... I hate them already.

But it got me thinkin. The diamond idea is a lot more interesting than decaying in some hole in the earth and it reduces the chances of being reanimated for some devilish plans by some unholy animist/necromancer greatly.

I still hope to have a few decades until the decision is becoming important, but it helps to set your mind early to be prepared for some unexpected departing.

My favorite way of afterlife would be to be connected to the internet at the time of my death and to be released into the net as the first non artificial intelligence. I could wreck havoc in there! Well at least some more than I do now. I would not need to eat, sleep, work, or any of those annoying things we living must do to survive. I could merely assimilate intelligent information to survive electronically. Sadly I couldn\'t visit Cmon anymore or I would by definition starve...

If that is not possible, I\'d go for the diamond idea.

Now what way would you fellow human beings like to pass on into the great beyond?

Here\'s the links to the diamond-cremation websites:
http://www.lifegem.com/
http://www.algordanza.ch/

 

[airhead]

Life is a sexually transmitted affliction with a 100% mortality rate.

Personally, creamate me and scatter me over my favorite fishing spot. Maybe I can feed the plants that feed the fish that I have enjoyed so much while I was here. My way of giving back.

 

[Modderrhu]

Originally posted by Etherion
I can imagine how my rotten children, if I ever decide to have any, will bring me to the pawnshop the next day and trade me in for a new plasma-tv. Grrr... I hate them already.

Then you\'d better time your death not to coincide with their teen years. For a girl, your life isn\'t worth a pair of shoes. For a boy, the PS2. If you\'ve ever had the feeling that your life is worth shit, a teenager will double that sensation.

But if any family of mine ever turned me into a diamond, I\'d be sure to make a rude sign in the middle of it.

 

[Ritual]

I don\'t care! It\'s up to my decendants (if there are any). When my life ends my body will no longer be my concern!

 

[Spacemunkie]

I\'m with Anders on this one - who cares!

Although I was reading a book called \'Stiff\' the other day, all about what happens to corpses after you die. One of the funniest causes you can leave your body to has to be ballistic weapons testing!lol

 

[Duende]

Originally posted by Etherion
My favorite way of afterlife would be to be connected to the internet at the time of my death and to be released into the net as the first non artificial intelligence.

Have you ever read Tad Williams\' \"Otherland\" novels? They deal with a group of rich old men trying to do exactly that!

Good idea, though. I wouldn\'t mind being a \"ghost\" on the net.

 

[Infidel Castro]

I\'ll be hoping for peace and quiet. Can\'t say fairer than that eh?

 

[finn17]

Yes...

Originally posted by Spacemunkie
One of the funniest causes you can leave your body to has to be ballistic weapons testing!lol

Endlessly hilarious I would imagine

I quite like Airhead\'s idea...only difference would be I want my ashes mixed with those of the dogs I have owned over the years. I don\'t actually believe in an afterlife...but just in case...

 

[Modderrhu]

Originally posted by finn17
I quite like Airhead\'s idea...only difference would be I want my ashes mixed with those of the dogs I have owned over the years. I don\'t actually believe in an afterlife...but just in case...

You\'ve just set yourself up as the next Cerberus, finn. I do like the idea though, being mixed up with my dogs, dogs are better than people.

@rev: are you sure you\'d not rather be pressed into a teeny-tiny tinbot cock? lol Couldn\'t help but see finn\'s signature again.

 

[Infidel Castro]

I was naive! I had no idea what I had till it was gone....

Still, can\'t complain lol

If there\'s an afterlife, it had best be nice, that\'s all I can say. Otherwise I\'ll sue

 

[Klute]

I would like to be a ghost and seek out that fekkin Most Huanted crew.

Blonde woman,
\"Is it me or has the temperature dropped.\"
Accora arsehole,
\"Mary,,,,,MARY.......no its Mark......thank you Sam.I sense a troubled soul here,someone who liked to paint.OOooohhhhhhh he killed himself with his exacto but he doesnt know he has passed on yet.\"

OOOOOooooooohhhhhhaaaaaaaoooohhaaa

 

[vincegamer]

If they can compress my ashes into a diamond, I wonder if they could compress them into something more sculptable so a mini could be made from me???

 

[Ritual]

@Vince
I\'m sure you could make some sort of plastic or similar material out of a human body. That could be used for minis...

I wouldn\'t want to be made into minis, though! What if some knucklehead gave me a shite paint-job? lol

 

[Etherion]

Originally posted by Duende

Have you ever read Tad Williams\' \"Otherland\" novels? They deal with a group of rich old men trying to do exactly that!

Never read it, sounds good. Gotta check it out.
Ghost in the Shell and Matrix were inspirations tho.

Btw. Before letting my body get burned and crystalized, i\'d be donating my organs except the brain...
You know even if your body is worthless once you dont occupy it, there\'s people that can need spare parts.
This isn\'t sarcastic; I really do carry a donors card, in case of \"sudden death\" I get gutted on the spot and all my usable parts will be distributed to the needy.

EDIT: @ Vince. A mini shaped like you at the time of death or something might be in order.

 

[Trevor]

In no particular order...

I want a crypt, you know like a big stone thing, as my imagination runs away with me, it gets bigger, its got secret passages, and traps, heck its a dungeon, filled with the tresure of my ill begotten life (so at the moment a large pile of lead soldiers, a roomful of CDs and a pile of computers and computer parts a treasure indeed to some ). An there i am buried in a massive sacophagous (sp?) in the heart, perhaps clinging to life as a liche or something else bony (a nice liche though, I\'d only suck the life out of you if you were trying to steal the minis...)

Brain in a computer or even better robot sounds like it might be fun for a while...

Give my skellington to my old school or uni.

 

[vincegamer]

\"We\'re here to take your liver, mam\"

 

[War Griffon]

Originally posted by airhead
Life is a sexually transmitted affliction with a 100% mortality rate.

Personally, creamate me and scatter me over my favorite fishing spot. Maybe I can feed the plants that feed the fish that I have enjoyed so much while I was here. My way of giving back.

Partly agree with that

However I want to be cremated and buried at sea the clause I want though is that I am taken out to sea further than a small craft can go and ideally I want full ceremonial from thee back of an Aircraft Carrier on a Sunday that has to sail from its port on a Friday to get to my burial destination.

Why well anybody with Naval service will tell you that those B£$%*&^s on a carrier never go to sea on a weekend and duties like wreath laying etc are done on a weekend by the FF/DD class ships.

That should upset them lollol

 

[Wolf_Fang]

i couldnt be bothered to read this thread on account its so freakin long... however i do have this to say on the opening line of original post....

your right we all die eventualy.... only.... stupid people die faster!

 

[War Griffon]

I read an article in a magazine a while ago where you could leave your body to some sort of research in how bodies decompose. They lie you in a position in a garden somewhere with lots of other bodies in various states of rot and monitor how your body goes back to the earth!!!!!!!!

I bet that place must really stink when you walk past.

 

[Valloa]

It\'s called the Body Farm at the University of Tennessee. It provides ongoing research opportunities for forensic anthropollogy students as well as other research needs. Very important work. The Farm is isolated and fenced. Bodies are returned to families for burial after the research is concluded.