I guess an introduction\'s overdue.

[tooshy]

Oh My!

You know, there was a time when paddles were something you used in a canoe or a nice little row boat, or maybe something nice to do on the beach....

I knew I\'d have a use for my old Girl Guides uniform (god only knows I\'m an old girl guide)... and I\'ve got a Vice Captain badge somewhere. I think this could even out-do my pink elephant era :innocent:

 

[finn17]

Vice Captain?

So that would be..the Captain in charge of vice..right?

:innocent:

 

[tooshy]

Sorry, couldn\'t resist...

Yup....Captain of Vice(s), MoleGrips anything along that theme actually

 

[Confessor Townsend]

Not for the squeamish!

Originally posted by stumpkillersounds like there\'s a story there, do tell

Okay you asked for it! The first house Kat and I shared had open fires in all the rooms (including the bedrooms), on a very chilly bonfire night I decided to get a fire going. Being a well versed pyromaniac I checked to make sure that the remains of the previous fire had gone out before assembling the wood and kindling. I then made the mistake of using my accelerant of choice, industrial methylated spirit. A freak gust came down the chimney, causing an ember to flare igniting the meths causing a rather interesting blowback…..up my arm holding the bottle and the right hand side of my upper body.

My reactions were fast enough to drop the bottle before it went off leaving Kat to stamp out the secondary fires, but not fast enough to prevent half of me going up like a human torch from the vapour. The most amusing thing was me nutting the duvet to put myself out. To those of you who are curious, yes human flesh burning does smell like pork and it did put me off smoky bacon crisps for the longest time. The worst part was looking in the mirror and seeing your skin bubbling like molten cheese…..not good.

Well I count my blessings, I didn’t have any good-looks to ruin and I still have the sight in my right eye and compared to Faye’s incident well mine\'s relatively minor.

 

[Nelson]

Ehhh, I dunno, not as bed-wetting creepy as having spiders feeling you up, but I\'m still sure turning into a human firefly isn\'t exactly fun. That\'s actually happened to a friend of mine too, who thought it would be fun to make one of those flamethrowers with an aerosol can and a lighter (we weren\'t quite \"there\" at the time) needless to say, if you\'re wasted, you don\'t bother with wind direction and all that technical stuff. Unfortunately, the wind god was kinda pissed, because he got a faceful of flaming hairspray....... Luckily, it was the kind of thing were he didn\'t actually catch on fire, and was reasonably okay, with minor burns and some hair missing. Let that be a lesson to you, folks....only use spray can flamethrowers indoors, where there\'s no wind, and it\'s nice and safe.

 

[Nailpainter2003]

Prof. Townsend....that sounded pretty bad and....

....I know, all too well, the smell of pork frying. And, not the bacon sizzling in the frying pan, either!! I can tell you, neither experience was pleasant.

My ex-husband was a body builder with biceps bigger than my butt.....They were so big that he couldn\'t raise a glass to his mouth to drink like a normal person. Well, one day he got angry about something trivial, took out his fish-gutting knife and proceeded to slash my twin brother\'s paintings, which were irreplacable since he\'d passed away. In my attempt to save the paintings, I suffered major arterial, tendon, ligament and nerve damage....That\'s what steroids will do for you!! :flame: A year later my muffler fell off, so I stopped the car, got underneath and was in the process of wrapping a coat hanger around it for a temporary fix, but didn\'t realize I was using my forearm as a brace (I have no feeling in one arm)....needless to say, the smell of burning flesh was my indicator and by then, I\'d already received 3\'d degree burns. At least I didn\'t feel a thing, like you did, Professor Townsend!

I still don\'t think anything was as bad as the darn black widows!!
Faye

 

[Ice_Angel]

Uuughh...

Well.... given that spark of enlightenment you must have achieved from that mishap... I must say I am glad that given the circumstances you are alright. I know things could have been much worse. Kudos to you and Katt both... and glad you are still with us.
:flip:

Nail... glad that you are okay too.. That had to suck (both experiences but that muffler one would have had me freaking out).

Nelson...next time bring a windsock lol (glad you goobers are alright too) .

 

[Confessor Townsend]

Faye

Sounds like you\'ve been in the wars as much as I have. The one slightly comforting part of the whole affair was feeling the pain.....no irrepairable nerve damage. I still say that there\'s no problem that half a gallon of super-unleaded and a match can\'t solve. Yup always loved Thermodynamics and Organic Chemistry.

Strangely enough a similar thing happened to my dad whilst absent-mindedly picking up a soldering iron that was still plugged in. Years of playing folk guitar have left his finger ends somewhat callused and no nerve endings.

To quote the old man \"What\'s that burning smell........oh it\'s me!\" I know you shouldn\'t laugh but the cartoony aspect got to me.

Hmm steroids eh well your ex won\'t be laughing when his bones crumble and has premature heart failure. I hope he kicked them before permanent damage results. A lot of the imported \"security\" in Norwich clubs exhibit \'Roid Rage (the local lads are by and large a good bunch). I stopped going after spending a particularly unpleasent evening being followed by two suited thugs who were evidently waiting for me to do something wrong. Being 6\'4\" and a 240lb brick shithouse of a bloke does attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention.

 

[Nailpainter2003]

Uhmmm, do you think Kat would mind if....

Originally posted by Confessor Townsend
Faye

Sounds like you\'ve been in the wars as much as I have. The one slightly comforting part of the whole affair was feeling the pain.....no irrepairable nerve damage. I still say that there\'s no problem that half a gallon of super-unleaded and a match can\'t solve. Yup always loved Thermodynamics and Organic Chemistry.

Strangely enough a similar thing happened to my dad whilst absent-mindedly picking up a soldering iron that was still plugged in. Years of playing folk guitar have left his finger ends somewhat callused and no nerve endings.

To quote the old man \"What\'s that burning smell........oh it\'s me!\" I know you shouldn\'t laugh but the cartoony aspect got to me.

Hmm steroids eh well your ex won\'t be laughing when his bones crumble and has premature heart failure. I hope he kicked them before permanent damage results. A lot of the imported \"security\" in Norwich clubs exhibit \'Roid Rage (the local lads are by and large a good bunch). I stopped going after spending a particularly unpleasent evening being followed by two suited thugs who were evidently waiting for me to do something wrong. Being 6\'4\" and a 240lb brick shithouse of a bloke does attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention.

....you paid a visit to my Ex in Texas who\'s still residing in MY house? I could use a 6\'4\"/240 lb, built like a brick shit-house of a bloke, to kick some brainless, sissy-boy butt :moon: who thinks picking on a 100 lb woman made him the \'maucho man\' of the century! lol

 

[Confessor Townsend]

I could make a comment about the other effect of steroid overuse but I believe it can be summed up as follows:

\"Give a woman an inch....and she\'ll laugh!\"

 

[kittykat23uk]

lol Go ahead Faye! I\'m sure CT would enjoy the holiday!

Regards

Kat

 

[Nailpainter2003]

Thanks Kat!

Originally posted by kittykat23uk
lol Go ahead Faye! I\'m sure CT would enjoy the holiday!

Regards

Kat

...but, that was purely a rhetorical question...I wouldn\'t ever place anyone in the path of my ex and I\'m grateful to be living 2100 miles away....He can have my house and everything in it. In time, I will have replaced everything anyway.

You are a sweetie and you must feel quite safe with CT...that is, when you\'re not busy putting out the human torch!lol

 

[kittykat23uk]

Yeah, that was NOT a fun experience!

Regards

Kat

 

[Confessor Townsend]

Yeah it was kind of humiliating trying to explain to a burns specialist how I got them. I love picking up my medical notes and reading them, it drives consultants up the wall.

 

[mule]

Originally posted by Confessor Townsend
Being 6\'4\" and a 240lb brick shithouse of a bloke does attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention.

I hear that one, it gets so you just don\'t want to go out anymore, just stay at home and paint...

 

[stumpkiller]

Originally posted by mule

Originally posted by Confessor Townsend
Being 6\'4\" and a 240lb brick shithouse of a bloke does attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention.

I hear that one, it gets so you just don\'t want to go out anymore, just stay at home and paint...

hmmmm, picturing brick s***house painters...
somehow that just didn\'t come out right, why would you need to paint bricks? especially those on s***houses???

 

[airhead]

Originally posted by stumpkiller...why would you need to paint bricks? especially those on s***houses???

And you called me an airhead. lol
Where is the moth when you need him.

 

[stumpkiller]

:duh: :moon: lol


I\'m not an air head, I\'m absent minded, not that that\'s any better mind you!

 

[mule]

Originally posted by stumpkiller

Originally posted by mule

Originally posted by Confessor Townsend
Being 6\'4\" and a 240lb brick shithouse of a bloke does attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention.

I hear that one, it gets so you just don\'t want to go out anymore, just stay at home and paint...

hmmmm, picturing brick s***house painters...
somehow that just didn\'t come out right, why would you need to paint bricks? especially those on s***houses???

Ahhh, to improve the appearance?
What, you\'ve never seen painted brick before?

BTW, I notice Temperance closed the bets on Word Association thread too, I think she should have finished it with the word \"Wrong\", just before the chop...