Matt Varnish

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superdauber

New member
Cast of Characters:

Matt Varnish, our hero and private eye.

Milly Putt - Matt\'s arch nemisis.

GreenStuff - the codeword for Milly\'s latest plan to conquer the world...
 
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Modderrhu

New member
Originally posted by Wolf_Fang
im lost on this 1.....
Click to expand...
Aha! Matt Varnish, PI genius, has his Spyglass busy on this nasty case of missing miniatures. (okay, that was an exceedingly obvious one, not much wit)
 
airhead

airhead

Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
The case of the missing VikingDauber.

It started like any other day for Matt, hungover and the sun shining way too bright. He sat at his desk going through the overdue bills when SHE walked in...

She had legs that went from her base all the way up to (well where they were supposed to go to.) and she moved like she had ball bearings. Unfortunately it was Matt\'s secretary bringing him a cup of coffee, the mornings mail and her resignation letter. She was tired of not getting paid for this work. Matt wasn\'t too concerned, she quit about once a week anyway.

But as she left with the empty cups of joe, and Matt was tearing open the letters with his dull switchblade, he saw it.
 
B

Broke n English

Guest
There was a shadow at the window,or was it the origional source lighting playing tricks? His hooded lids hovered over his bloodshot eyes as he tried to focus.......
 
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Modderrhu

New member
His hair felt like Velcro, his forehead turned glossy and he licked his brush, staring through the layers of soiled drapery... Were his eyes playing tricks, or did his stomach not agree with that slightly off rack ham sandwich, he could not decide.
 
airhead

airhead

Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
It was her. Milly Putt walking into his walk-up, bold as NMM brass. What could she be doing here?

Before he could get to his desk and get his hogleg, she walked in and went straight over to his liquer cabinet.

\"Shot of paint stripper, Matt?\" she asked so casually, \"before we get down to business that is.\"
 
ipaintminis

ipaintminis

New member
\"What business are you talkin\'\" Matt said

he couldn\'t stand when she acted like this it was weeks before he could think straight again.


she acted like she and his office, the nerve of that girl! He was about to get up and give and peace of his Mind...

when he saw what was in her hand, not the one holding paint stripper (which did look like a good idea...he could really do with something like that right now)But in the other hand he noticed something that made is blood run cold......
 
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MarkusTay

New member
Could it be? It looked like the Maltese Mini. Legend had it, it was lost in the Land of the Tomb Kings, down in King Solomon\'s mines...

But how the hell did she get it, and more importantly, why had she just finished the last swig of stripper?!
 
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Modderrhu

New member
\"Is that a sculpting tool in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me, Mr Varnish?\", she taunted. Flicking his carefully prepared work off his desk, she slinked and smoothed her way on top of it. \"But what you really want to know is how I came by this artifact known only in the Stuff of Legends.\" Oh, she was good. Matt always had a shine for Ms. Putt, it was his worst flaw, and he was becoming Kneadatite in her hands. She fanned herself, faking a sweat, and undid her top button. \"You\'re turning soft on me, Mr. Varnish, so let me explain for you...\"
 
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MarkusTay

New member
She leaned forward to speak, exposing more of her ample boosom. She had the chest of a Russian painter he thought, with an ass like a Celtos whore...

\"Can you at least have the decency to look into my perfect eyes, Mr. Varnish, and stop trying to figure out if I\'ve been wet-blended or tweened...\"

She read him like a how-to manual. Shaking his head he let her continue...
 
ipaintminis

ipaintminis

New member
he ended up concluding that she was tweened...

she continued unraveling her evil plot to him....he figured if you let the bgirl talk long enough he will know where to look for her later

she continued....
\"the Maltese Mini wasent all that hard to get, it was just a matter of finding the right king...you know how it is. men just fall for the look of perfectly blended skin.\" she laughed \"so all i had to do was find this tomb king and give him what he hadnt had in years...\" she raised her eyebrows and lightly touched matts chest. Matt envisioned a age old Tomb King getting stripped, after all he was all enamles. he let her continue....

\"So i gave him the dull coat he wanted.\"

Matt was relieved, as much as she was the \"evil villian\" he was starting to fall for her. he figured all she hadta do to get through life was look pretty and reaper rewarads. and it wasnt hard with a face like that

suddenly Ms. Put looked rather nervous... *orchrastration* duh da DAHHHHHHH
 
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Levdir

New member
<OOC>
Never done me one of these before, so if it\'s rubbish, say so and ignore it.
</OOC>
...as if she were expecting someone. Noticing her preoccupation, Matt began inching his hand toward the hold-out bolter he kept in his bitz box superglued under the desk. She glanced towards the window for a moment and he lunged, grabbing the pistol grip and turning on her.
\"Freeze, sister,\" Matt growled, keeping her at arm\'s length with that gleaming tunnel of death.
\"What are you really after?\"
 
D

Dikhed

New member
\"You think you know me so well, Matt Varnish\", she said, \"but this time I\'m not the bad guy...\"

He could see drops of wetness appearing in the corners of her eyes. Was it a trick? he thought, absent mindly fondling his pistol, or was her paints thinned down too much this time. He decided to let her finish, and let the mold lines speak for themselves...
 
airhead

airhead

Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
\"Matt, I\'ve come to make you an offer, one you won\'t refuse. I will let you have the Maltese Mini if you do me a little favor. You see I have bigger fish to fry. I want the long sought VikingDauber. It was rumored to have been lost long ago in the deep water effects of the Woodland Scenics lake. But I have information that it has survived and is...\"

Just then a shot rang out, and it wasn\'t from Matt\'s bolter...
 
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Modderrhu

New member
Glass tinkled all around them, the air was as thick as smoke out of the bottle. \"Holy Flock!\", Matt was about to crack. Milli Putt was smarter and quicker though, \"Dive!\", she yelled. A small 12ml canister bounced off Matt\'s desk onto the floor, and remained there looking for all the world as if it was trying very hard to dry out. Ms. Putt sighed in 3D, Matt emptied his water jar.

Ms. Putt got up and patted Matt on the head patronisingly, \"It\'s alright, Matt, sweetie. My colleague, Sid Adell, was just delivering an important message...\"
 
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