Confessor Townsend
New member
After reading tooshy’s fizzy drink\'s can Russian Roulette gag I can’t help thinking that others have what I term BoFH moments. Everyone has them I think (or at least the urges), acts of completely unwarranted spite against the world at large.
Two examples from my portfolio:
At my first real job the finance director’s assistant was a lovely lady but shall we say was a little highly-strung and had a tendency to snap at people as well as being a technophobe. On one particular day I was the victim of said tongue-lashing when I really wasn’t in the most tolerant of moods. Luckily the week before we’d had GotoMyPC installed on several finance machines including hers.
Now for those that don’t know, this is a piece of remote connectivity software that allows you to take over the machine in question. I kicked the connection into life, and while she was working opened up Paint and scrawled using the airbrush tool in bright red “YOUR COMPUTER IS POSSESSED!!” I heard the scream from half a floor away…….
The second involves the great bastion of screaming bratdom that is Toys R Us. Every so often my lovely other half and I undertake a pilgrimage to said store, in the hope of finding plushies (for her) or some other cool gadget or gizmo that appeals to my inner child. After enduring the troglodyte brood-spawn of numerous Chav couples with dubious genetic makeup I came upon what I thought was a toy that was only rivalled by Teddy Ruxpin(*) in its ability to cause permanent psychiatric trauma.
It was a generic plush animal of uncertain breeding stock which judging by its colouration spent a large proportion of its life around Sellafield. What made it special was the DSP chip in it, which could sample a spoken word, then play back that word to “sing” Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (via some form of pitch shifting). I think you can imagine what happened next; about twenty of these things and a demented individual. Let’s just say they were pulled from the shelves shortly afterwards. The funniest part was watching entire families run from that aisle as a veritable symphony of profanity was unleashed by their precious offspring.
So any more acts of malevolence against the world?
(*)Teddy Ruxpin was a smarmy bastich of an animatronic teddy bear that would sing and tell stories using cassette tapes. Substitute story tape with something a little more suitable say the most sickening Death Metal you can get your hands on and watch the fun!
Two examples from my portfolio:
At my first real job the finance director’s assistant was a lovely lady but shall we say was a little highly-strung and had a tendency to snap at people as well as being a technophobe. On one particular day I was the victim of said tongue-lashing when I really wasn’t in the most tolerant of moods. Luckily the week before we’d had GotoMyPC installed on several finance machines including hers.
Now for those that don’t know, this is a piece of remote connectivity software that allows you to take over the machine in question. I kicked the connection into life, and while she was working opened up Paint and scrawled using the airbrush tool in bright red “YOUR COMPUTER IS POSSESSED!!” I heard the scream from half a floor away…….
The second involves the great bastion of screaming bratdom that is Toys R Us. Every so often my lovely other half and I undertake a pilgrimage to said store, in the hope of finding plushies (for her) or some other cool gadget or gizmo that appeals to my inner child. After enduring the troglodyte brood-spawn of numerous Chav couples with dubious genetic makeup I came upon what I thought was a toy that was only rivalled by Teddy Ruxpin(*) in its ability to cause permanent psychiatric trauma.
It was a generic plush animal of uncertain breeding stock which judging by its colouration spent a large proportion of its life around Sellafield. What made it special was the DSP chip in it, which could sample a spoken word, then play back that word to “sing” Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (via some form of pitch shifting). I think you can imagine what happened next; about twenty of these things and a demented individual. Let’s just say they were pulled from the shelves shortly afterwards. The funniest part was watching entire families run from that aisle as a veritable symphony of profanity was unleashed by their precious offspring.
So any more acts of malevolence against the world?
(*)Teddy Ruxpin was a smarmy bastich of an animatronic teddy bear that would sing and tell stories using cassette tapes. Substitute story tape with something a little more suitable say the most sickening Death Metal you can get your hands on and watch the fun!
